The Disciplinarian

This role in the family is the hardest of them all and as the stay at home mum it is automaticly me. It makes for a very emotional time some days. And frankly I am hating it.

I know I have a boy that is often hypoactive. This is just him, but what comes with this is defiance. From eating breakfast to following basic instructions (like come to mum, or hold my hand, or pick up your toys now) everything seems to be a battle.

Even getting him in and out of the car is a huge challange. Becuase following direction is not his strong point and he delibrately arches his back or slides away. Today it was biting me every time I touched the seat belt buckle.

We have worked out that he can't have a lot of the preservatives. And if by chance he has them, he goes ape. His sleep is destroyed and he can not cope with it at all. He suddenly becomes feral and behaves worse than what is normal for him.

Example.
Tuesday night we had a really simple dinner of sausages, onion and gravey, with mashed potato, peas and corn. Really basic dinner right?? What harm could this staple meal do to this boy. LOTS apparently.
The lovely butcher suasages (not the supermarket ones) have a preservitive 223 in their filler. The gavey contains the colour150a, plus who knows what else...
But what ever it was it sent him over the top and up the wall. He litterally did not go to sleep until some where after 10:45, I am not sure when as that is when I fell asleep and he was still singing to his bed friends. If we went in there and tried to settle him he was even worse. He would hit kick, and just try and escape his bed. Oh and he was clawing at his bed rail. If we asked him to go to sleep he would scream and scream. It was draining.
Wednesday morning I got him up at 7:30am and dressed him as he had to be at day care at 8am. He screamed and fought with me over taking his pj's off (this happens every day no matter what time of the day) and changing his nappy. Than it was time for breakfast. It did not go too well. But he did eat and I got him in the car by 8:05. But with HUGE protests. This whole time there was no loving moment. No good mornings from Thomas nothing. When I dropped him off he did not want to know me. It was like I am here no bugger off mum.
At pick-up time he did not want to know me. No hello mummy, no excited to see you moments he just ran outside and was refusing to come home. Until I picked him up kicking and screaming at me.
When we got to the car I went to get to go in and he just dropped to the ground as I went lift him in and crossed his stubborn arms. Going home he barely spoke two words to me despite my efforts. When we walked in the door it was straight to I WANT. I Want wiggles. I want happy feet. I want this I want that. I want I want I want....
If I sat on the floor with him he pushed me away or hurt me. There were no cuddles no hugs nothing. It was heart breaking, so when John got home I went to my room and cried. Yep I cried and it still makes me teary, becuase it seems being the disciplinarian has some really ugly emotional moments and leaves you wondering if your child loves you or not.