Ok I am over the pitfalls of this cycle. I am still having wicked Nuasea. And a few other symptoms. AF is not here yet, but I am not surprised, I am thinking that she will be here tomorrow or thursday. No biggie.
I feel the need to cry and almost did when my sister called to check in. Come out of my mouth was I am ok with it either way, but out my heart and eyes was I was not so ok with it. Damm it. I am not ok with this, I am not ok trying and trying again and again. Watching others fall pregnant and have healthy babies, make comments about there blessings being "unplanned" & "unwanted". Becuase whilst it maybe unplanned by you, God had another idea for you. You may not want the blessing that is your child, Somebody else might. It maybe Gods plan that you allow somebody else to raise love and nurture that child like you know you can't.
I am not ok with people making pregnancy a joke. Like falling pregnant is sooo easy and any woman can do it..
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Oh Jodie (((BIG HUGS))),
ReplyDeleteLet it all out honey, only by releasing your true feelings can you begin to heal inside.
I had a heated debate with a guest at my house tonight about this exact thing, not you in particular, but infertility and other peoples unwillingness to understand how it makes others feel.
I truly hope that between you, your husband and your faith you can find the strength to allow your feelings to be heard.
Love You
Dee
I read this with my jaw open! You have summed everything up precisely Jodie. (hugs) - have been thinking of you over the past week.
ReplyDeletex Susan